I’ve been feeling really ugly lately, and like my hair was bland and blah. It was mostly one length with a bit of layers, but I wanted something more.
Ah ha! How about some bangs? Some side swept bangs would look great, and would be minimal effort to maintain while adding some actual style and life to my hair.
I looked up a place that had great reviews about its owner and decided to make my appointment with her. I got there and told her “I want bangs, but I don’t like blunt edges”.
“Sure! I can do that for you” she said sweetly.
Well, long story short, she gave me bangs with blunted edges. So blunt and so straight, that I could (hopefully) slit my wrists with them and end this nightmare.
From start to finish, it took 10 minutes. She chopped of my bangs, trimmed them up to make them nice and straight and blow dried the bottom. Presumably to fix the mangled bangs she blessed me with.
I asked her to fix it; told her straight up that I’m not happy with it. She ushered me out and went to immediately deal with her next client. She gave herself 15 minutes to work with me and couldn’t/chose not to accommodate me despite my concern.
I did end up crying.
I walked into a different salon nearby and tried to ask the lady there if she could fix my hair. I explained what happened and what I asked for, and couldn’t hold in my frustration anymore.
I went for a haircut to alleviate the ugly God damn it, not exacerbate it.
To my dismay, she told me she couldn’t do anything that would make it better, and to come see her in two months.
Sooo here I am. Day 1 of 60, trying not to hate my look/face/hair more than I did before this whole thing. I bought hairspray, gel, and a round brush to try to recreate the blow dry she did. I’m trying to rock it, I am. I’m trying not to let the negativity take over my head space. It kinda worked…
But the hairspray didn’t hold against the wind this morning. My bangs look chunky, the waves at the bottom aren’t holding (they never do, my hair apparently hates being told what to do) and I feel like crap every time I glance at myself. Oh who am I kidding, I’ve got my inner camera pointed at me at all times making sure I don’t drop below a 3/10 on the looks scale.
I’ve never felt this self conscious about myself in my entire life, and I mean that sincerely. Not even when I weighed 40lbs heavier, not even when my ex boyfriend’s mother dyed my hair chili red instead of auburn, and not even from high school days when I cut my own hair.
What else can I do? One day at a time… 59 to go.