the lights which once led your way
disappeared without a trace.
the happiness which once lit your smile
disappeared from your face.
the hardest words; spoken.
left with nothing but an extinguished hope,
nothing but eyes who no longer see,
nothing but a heart who refuses to work.
it’s okay, flee.
things that seem impossible now
feel impossible still.
but in your mind’s eye, gaze and see
how far you’ve come and how far you will.
life awaits on the other side
you have the world in your palm; grasp it.
really, it’s okay, flee.
– by Naaria
It was as terrifying to leave as it was to stay… until it became too scary to stay, and I thank God that he brought me to that point with juuust enough guts to do it. You know what they say: “it gets worse before it gets better”. Sometimes we (unfortunately) have to get to a point where it feels like it just can’t get any worse and then we have to decide: do we want to get better yet?
It definitely felt impossible both before and after I finally left. It’s been a pretty slow recovery, but I can proudly say that after about 6 years, I no longer get sent into an insta-panic attack when I see someone who even remotely looks like him.
I call that a definite win.
(Note: Not all abusive relationships include physical violence. Check out this great article: Four Abusive Behaviours That Aren’t Physical.)