Playtime is Over!

Alright! After the wonderful weekend I had at the beginning of the month (a weekend and-then-some of heavy indulgence and slacking on strictness), it’s time to get back on the wagon and really whip it good!

Sometimes for our sanity, we do need to indulge. We do need to loosen the reigns a bit. Sometimes you restrict yourself so far that your body damn near forces you to eat a bigger helping, or a second dinner, or a third fourth snack. I’ve gained a bit of weight but now I don’t feel that undying feeling that says “FEED ME DAMN YOU FEED MEEE” in the back of my mind anymore which is honestly an awesome trade off for me, personally.

Time to hit those resolutions hard: wake up early to coffee and a light jog, some yoga, meditation, get some creative juices flowing a la blogging or guitar, eat a healthy, hearty breakfast, and then tackle each and every day as it comes!

The Process of Learning

via Daily Prompt: Unseen

As always, the prompt is perfect for what I’m thinking!

So, I’ve been learning guitar lately, very slowly. I practice maybe 15 minutes a day or so which is a great pace for me.

When I sit and practice, I inevitably Β get to thinking of all those who have learned guitar before me. How many hours were put into it. How much their fingers must have hurt–and how many of them sucked it up anyway and practiced til they bled.

How almost all of their efforts are unseen.

People–myself included–tend to judge people by how well they can do at a certain point in time; whether it’s on stage at a concert, or for the test with your instructor, or when they serenade their love, or whatever.

If they do poorly, we might think poorly of them or their skills. If they do well, we tend to think that they must be born with this talent. We likely rarely think of all the hours spent alone–frustrated that they can’t get this or that, or elated that they finally did it!

A lot of life is unseen, isn’t it? It’s amazing to me.

Next time I see someone performing their art, I’m going to try to take a deep breath and appreciate all the effort they’ve put into it so far, even if the results aren’t 100%.

Back to Earth

via Daily Prompt: Uneven

Despite my (over-)confidence of 2017 being the best year ever thinking it’ll be perfect and nothing will go wrong, it’s inevitable that I’d eventually get knocked down.Β What goes up must come down, yes?

It’s easy to ride on the highs of positive emotion and forget that life is–and always will be–uneven. A smooth ride it is not. No sirree. It’s taken a lot of practice and about twice the amount of failing, but I don’t see stumbling as a negative anymore. Of course it sucks in the moment and it sometimes makes me wanna tear out all of my hair, but it’s much easier to appreciate the bad things (like fights with my husband) because we always walk away from it knowing how to love each other a little bit better.

Gotta take the good with the bad, you know? In fact, it’s the bad that makes the good so damn good. It’s the ugly parts of life that really makes you sit and appreciate the beauty of your life. It’s the cold chill of Winter that makes a scalding hot shower feel sooo good.

It’s only within the unevenness of life that I’m able to make progress in my mindset like this, no matter how slight. Now that I’m back to Earth, I fully expect (and eagerly anticipate) the lessons 2017 will bring.

New Creative Venture: Guitar!

Ah-ha! I’ve finally decided on a creative venture: guitar!

I’ve been involved in music most of my young life. In elementary school we played xylophone, recorder, and guitar–with alto sax in seventh grade. I played tenor sax in high school for three years, as well as sang in choir for about the same amount of time. Then… I don’t know, it just sort of dropped off the more I got into cooking/baking.

Basically, music has always been part of my life so it makes sense for me to dabble back into it as a creative outlet.

Thanks to my generous husband, I have a new guitar I can play with! I’ve also got me my beginner’s booklet and a cramp in my fingers–this is gonna be fun!

Cat’s Crossing

via Daily Prompt: Crossing

My husband and I are currently in the middle of introducing my cat to his cat. Anyone who’s had the pleasure of introducing cats knows the pain and frustration.

My cat, Zorro (the tuxedo with the grumpy face) is a really sweet little guy. Loves attention but is timid and a bit shy; definitely submissive–the most docile and submissive cat I’ve ever known or heard about… until…

Tumbles (the maine coon), my husband’s cat is a huge pussy (pardon the pun πŸ˜† ). Like, huge. I’ve never seen such a huge scaredy cat! She’s sweet too, but she’s scared of everything that moves which–admittedly–is a bit hilarious.

Well, that’s where the problem lies: I think Zorro knows this and is taking advantage of how “powerful” he’s become! He’s no longer the biggest wuss in the house! He’ll sneak around behind her, or just come right up to her and she’ll hiss–sometimes it results in a high speed cat chase, which results in more quarantine time.

It’s… a work in progress.

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Go Away!

via Daily Prompt: Gone

There are so many things I want gone right now:

The snow. I love snow, but lately it’s been a bit overkill. Nevermind that I don’t even get to play in it, this is the dangerous kind of snow, you know? The kind that turns into impenetrable ice; the kind that makes every corner turn a death trap. My husband drives a truck and the last couple weeks have me anxiety ridden. That, and I want to go outside and walk/jog/run/hike damn it! I have a new area to explore!

This feeling of homesickness. I couldn’t wait to leave home. I didn’t have the best relationship with my family, and I was getting sick of the city life… but I miss them now. I miss the buses, the trains, the daily commutes. I miss seeing my brother, and randomly going for dinner with the other members of my family. I miss having food options. Here, it’s burgers and other American type of food, Mexican food, or Chinese food.Β I miss sushi. I miss curry. I miss Korean BBQ. I miss sushi. I miss sushi. Oh god, I miss sushi. I missΒ food.

My husband and I are currently living with his mother for several reasons. I really, really miss having my own space, and I like keeping my space clean and at least somewhat organized. They have so much room in the house but not much space, you know? She’s as sweet as sweet can be, but I’ve always been pretty independent so that her sweetness borders on overbearing. She’s always thinking of us, so she buys us snacks, treats, food, random shit; stuff we don’t want to have around or don’t have a use for–at all. For example, I offhandedly mentioned that I don’t mind cinnamon if it’s in food, so she bought me a huge cinnamon bun. I like apples, so she bought me two apple pies, on top of the one she bought for Christmas that I’ve been dutifully eating (probably my fault in that case). I know I’m being ungrateful and I love her very much and appreciate her thinking of us… just let me rant!

Expanding on my family a bit… I miss them a lot more than I thought I would. We were never a lovey-dovey family and I miss that, surprisingly. My husband’s family is very vocal with their love and it’s taking a bit to get used to. The first nibling/grandchild is about to be born and I can’t be there for it. She’s already drawing us all closer together and yet physically, I can’t be there. I want her to experience the type of family my husband has, and I want to be the one to shower her with affection and love. And yet I can’t be there for her birth. Gods that’s going to haunt me for a long time. Β I miss my family and our arms-length-love, haha.

I guess I don’t necessarily miss my life back in my hometown, but I miss having control over my immediate environment. I miss the old dynamic I suppose. I guess I’m feeling a bit down and grumpy today.

“The Light Inside”

viaΒ Haiku Horizons: Joy

the joy in my life
is nothing compared to the
light inside your eyes

– by Naaria

What is happiness if we are alone? What is happiness for ourselves if those around us are not? May we create happiness for ourselves and share it with everyone around us. πŸ™‚

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle”

– by James Keller